Dual-Identity, Double Conscience

As an Afro-American man in this nation called the United States, it is a known fact that at the professional level one must possess a dual-identity.  I don’t know too much about everyone else, but for me in these trying times maintaining such a thing is driving me to the brink of insanity.  Professional black man by day, abolitionist writer/speaker by night, there is a severe conflict within myself.  All of the micro-aggressions suffered at work.  All of the near-blatant racist ideas uttered by my colleagues.  How am I supposed to soak up, the notion for example, that a guy that I had Christmas dinner with would plow through a set of protesters with his 2010 Mustang?

riley-eyeThis is how racism works: you can have friends, people who hold you dear even, have outright racist ideologies towards your skin tone.  You can have girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses… people who love you dearly, hate those who share your skin tone.  And from there, the burden is ALL on you, the minority. The burden is on YOU to never bring up the fears, the terrors you suffer. The burden is on YOU to remain silent in regards to the socio-psychological trauma who you and others suffer because of racism.  You are to suffer, in silence, while those who you think care for you really don’t care about you all.

This is where things begin to get interesting for me.  I am a black man in America, who is making the bold attempt to have, finally, one identity.  One conscience.  And yes, people are truly shocked.  What I wish to do, is actually just be me.  If something bothers me, I say so.  If something is wrong, I speak up no matter what.  I simply began refusing to allow racist bullshit to fly. Or walk.  I’m practically functioning as a NYC Cop on racist bullshit; racist bullshit get stopped and frisked when I’m around.  Racist bullshit gets profiled and stopped for near-petty reasons, and gets beat up and maybe killed for it’s failure to comply.

In this fusion of my dual-identity, everyday I become closer to my true one self, closer to finding true inner-peace.  Fighting racism at whatever capacity is most certainly the real me, and it feels great to be one person.  But at the same time I notice that I’m beginning to lose friends.  And I’m totally okay with that.

Losing Friends

The first friend I lost was a black man who I was friends with since I was 15 years old.  This was years back, in the height of the murder of Trayvon Martin.  The fellow was attempting to defend Zimmerman.  he erroneously called Zimmerman a “security guard” that Trayvon should have complied to, which was false (he was a neighborhood watch volunteer).  This created a long back and forth argument (on Facebook of all places) where the guy attempted to talk trash as if things were to get physical.  The guy then stated that I was never liked even when we were kids.  Yes, he went that far.  I didn’t hear from this Tanooki suit guy in 4-5 years or so.  I’m totally okay with that.

After a while, it’s just like this.

One friend, a southern white female once attempted the fine deflection science of insisting that Irish indentured servitude was just like American Slavery imposed on black people.  I made a couple of points on how there was no “Irish fugitive slave laws” and no Irish being kidnapped from the Border States and placed into Slavery in the South (while black people were).  I also pointed out how an Irish indentured servant can testify in a court of law (while black slaves NEVER could).  There was no Irish Jim Crow; in fact the Irish-Americans participated in it.  I should add that she also was a confederate flag supporter.  After tearing apart her argument like Christmas goose I removed her from my proximity and never talked to her again.

The persistent vitriol thrown at Korryn Gaines, a dead black woman — and the women who support her — forced me the distance myself from another old friend, black male.

Another friend of mine was a white male who used to rap on beats I made back in the 2003-2004 time period.  He was a white male who enjoyed extreme sports like snowboarding.  Technically, when I was “producing” out of a padded room closet, he was my “first rapper”.  Anyway, in modern time he’s a real estate fellow who parrots Afrophobic Tomi Lahren nonsense on his Facebook wall.  He supports cops murdering black people.

When I blatantly confronted him on it, he definitely showed up, but he pulled out every deflection/projection in the Gentlemen’s Guide to Being White regarding racism… which was unfortunately predictable.  Other friends of mine looked at his wall and was astonished as to how such a racist can be a long time friend of mine.  Of course, he called me the “hateful” one, and disengaged. I pointed out if I was hateful I would flat out delete his ass, plus it comes from a position of love to call his dumb ass out in the first place.  But of course, facts don’t matter.  What I learned was that white people like himself want to be racist without being seen or known as a racist bigot.  He wants to shit on protests, movements, people fighting for their humanity without anyone calling him out — all while enjoying the luxury of calling me a “black friend”.  You can’t make this up.  I can only imagine how many times he might have been challenged in all of his bigotry, having me in mind for his “I have a black friend” response.  It doesn’t need to be said that I refuse to be an Ebony Shield to white supremacy.

Another thing I noticed was how he sought to diminish everything stated as “just a mere difference of opinion.”  Again, he is predictable; it’s impossible to realize your sins if you don’t hold them as actual occurrences of sinning.  It’s easy to be a bigot when you don’t see where you are wrong, thinking everything can go either way.  This rationalization process is what allows racism to continue as is.  Anyway, this guy is lost as a friend by way of me being grounded on reality.

Another friend of mine — a guy I had admired actually — is a Trump supporter, and Clinton hater.  I guess he’s a black conservative, or at least became one.  As a Trump supporter he asked me, “what racism?” when it came to Donald Trump.  This man is a black-Latino man, therefore, he should feel the heat on both fronts.  Asking me to list all the racist things Trump said and done.  As if he never seen or heard it.  The denial in this man was as thick as a Thanksgiving fart.  I haven’t talked to him ever since.

This is about Self-Care

As a socially cognizant black person in America it is a known fact that we are often torn between people that we have love for.  I imagine that the majority of successful black people live a reality where they constantly have to put up with close-quarters racism, ranging from micro-aggressions to blatant bigotry.  In my quest to distance myself from this dual-identity and become one, I can picture how one would suggest that my actions are petty or arrogant.  After profound thought in the subject, I realized that this isn’t an issue of arrogance or maliciousness; it’s an issue of self-care.  I have to address racism from those who are close to me because it’s that close proximity that makes things more damaging.

For those who are my friends, I don’t want to destroy them or start trouble; I just want them to be better people.  I want my friends to give a damn about me as much as I give a damn about them.  Ultimately, I want them to give a damn for others as well.  You know, have basic human empathy for other black or nonwhite people other than me.

For those who continue to bullshit in regards to racism, think everything is merely “a matter of different opinion,” or wonder why I don’t “just leave America”…….  I’m totally okay with losing these “friends” of mine.  With friends like these, who needs enemies?  So to those who continue to be bigots in my wake, just know that it’s only a matter of time before you lose.

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Written by Johnny Silvercloud

The Soul Brother #1 of a Kind. Consequentialist street photographer abolitionist writer/speaker who stands for any oppressed peoples. I do it because every man and woman deserves freedom of thought -- especially black folks.


    1. Amazing. I am bookmarking your article to share with activist friends. Ebony Shield indeed! As a White Ally, I am listening. I am learning. I am supporting. You are brilliant here. Thank you so very much! I learned a LOT reading this.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. My own sister who is much older than I deleted me on facebook. Usually would not care, however she is probably the woman I respected most in my entire lifetime. She said my posts insinuate I am black, I looked back on my posts as far as I could go and could not see anything other than being anti trump and pro black. I have grown mixed children and my perspective on anything is coming from a point of view with their best interest at heart. I know people that fight tooth and nail saying they are not racists,yet here them make horrible comments when no one is around, I have stood up recently against a coworker and ended up fired for the first time in my 41 years of life. My circle is much smaller but my heart is bigger than ever and god knows me and is my only judge, I pray my children and I are there with him in our next journey. God bless you

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Wow my older brother deleted me for the same reason. The audacity is what hurt the most


    3. I really admire you. This article is great. No one should have to put up with the psychological strain of upholding two identities just to please other people. You are awesome.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I hate that racism still exist in our day and time and I apologize on behalf of my white race to those who have experienced it. But, please remember that there are alot of racist people from all different nationalities. I have experienced racism from racist black people aswell. My son was only 6yrs old the 1st time he experienced racism, he was riding the school bus home and was being poked by another child (6yr old black boy) who was clearly trying to provoke my son to touch him…he kept calling my son honky and cracker…calling him chicken amount other names. Finally he poked my son really hard in the face, my son pushed his hand away and the kids 11yr old brother punched my 6yr old son in the face as hard as he could. Thankfully, the black male bus driver happen to be looking in the rear view mirror and saw everything (also on video). He immediately pulled to bus over and brought the boys to the front to watch them until their stop and he made sure the boys were expelled from the bus. I was fighting mad, heartbroken knowing someone inflicted pain on my son for no other reason than him being white. ( unbelievable that a kid that young made the statement they hated white people) Thank the Lord for the bus driver!!! Needless to say that was not the last and as I mentioned before I too have experienced it more than once. I just hope you realize that all races are affected by racism. God bless us all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that happened to your son and I do truly hope you used that as a teachable moment. It’s hurtful that your son had to experience that, but hopefully he was thoroughly explained as to why those kids may have felt that way. I hope those kids were invited over for dinner, and maybe even the parents were in attendance so everyone understood those kids, their parents, as well as your own personal history. You see, all races are affected by racism, just not how you see it; I can affect a lion by slapping it, but I guarantee it won’t feel great if it slapped me back. You may have options if, for any reason, your son was expelled from the bus, what happened to those kids?

      We wanna talk God bless and thank the Lord, but what was learned from that encounter? Love your enemies? Pray for them? Where are those kids now? The system was created for that encounter. And if you hate racism, teach compassion and understanding. ESPECIALLY when confronted with hate


      1. What. The. Fuck? If someone punches your child in the face, you should explain the feeling that may have caused that assault? Fantastic idea! Way to feed in to racism. In a perfect world, no one would see color and we would all get along with no preconceived notions. Scrap that. Let’s explain to a small child how his heritage caused him to be punched in the face.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Name calling isn’t racism. That’s bullying.

      Racism, the kind of racism that’s dividing this country, is the result of over 300 years of systemic discrimination. Not name-calling alone. It’s all the things that went *with* the names.

      It’s how, after Bacon’s Rebellion in 1676 (when white and black indentured servants together marched against the landowner/ bosses who were illegally extending and abusing their servitude contracts) the wealthy elites responded by continuing to abuse and extended the servitude contracts … of blacks. Poor whites, they gave whips and promised that when their term of service ended, they could have land. So poor whites stopped allying with poor blacks against the exploitative bosses, and more legislations were passed until the system that had once been indentured servitude applied equally to both became racialized chattel slavery, applied only to blacks–and laws were passed that race was determined through the maternal line, as was the status (free or slave) of the child, which incentivized owners to breed and assault their slaves.

      “But that was hundreds of years ago, what does that have to do with today?”

      Because the Civil Rights Act wasn’t passed in 1964. Not the first one. The first Civil Rights Act was passed in 1866, after the Civil War ended, except Congress was uncomfortable with the original language that explicitly said it intended to protect the rights of the black man, so all the language was changed to softer, more neutral language. Colorblind, you might say.

      And within 10 years, the political and social gains which had began to be made by black America in the wake of the Civil War were beaten back–literally–by segregationist and separatist Jim Crow policies, which were most apparent in the South, but which were in effect to some extent (through redlining and other racialized policies) throughout the country. During the Jim Crow era, black actors were actually expected to wear blackface when performing on stage or film, can you believe that? Tulsa OK was known as Black Wall Street, because the black community in the area had built such wealth, until the night in the 1921 when–at the urging of two white-owned newspapers printing rumor and urging the formation of a lynch mob–the entire neighborhood was burned by a rioting white mob. More than burned, they actually dropped bombs from the sky.

      In 1921, my paternal grandfather was operating a dairy farm. He was one of like 10 kids, and his grandparents were both immigrants (Norway and Scotland). They’d gotten land for free under the homestead act, which they built a house on with a mortgage and paid off. They were able to build wealth and help their children start businesses and establish homes, who in turn were able to pass that generational wealth down to their children and families. On my maternal side, I can trace my family back to the Revolutionary War. The passage of intergenerational wealth and government assistance has been beneficial to my family, and that ultimately resulted in a situation where my dad–born to a dairy farmer–went to college on a scholarship in the 1960s and earned his law degree. And that’s not an uncommon story for a white man in America born in the 1940s.

      But it is an uncommon story for a black person in America, especially one born in the 1940s or before, and that’s wrong and stupid. Black families in America, overwhelmingly, have been robbed of the opportunity to pass on intergenerational wealth and knowledge. Literally robbed, generation after generation. Robbed of their labor, robbed of their children, robbed of bodily autonomy. Even when they were able to acquire freedom, land, and wealth, it was not uncommon–as in the case of Tulsa, OK–for nearby whites to take it without consequence because they could. Because they wanted it.

      1964 was the next Civil Rights Act, and this time we as a nation had actually learned our lesson and were explicit about whose rights this legislation was supposed to protect. No colorblind language this time. But while the black community and allies were looking out hard for the old, familiar shapes of racism–the KKK, the lynchings, the obvious things–it was coming in subtle ways like a serpent in the garden. It was the institutional policies which granted loans to some and denied them to others, much like redlining in the North had segregated neighborhood while Jim Crow South was segregating lunch counters. It was in police profiling, targeted at black and latino youth. And, increasingly, it was the way that black men were the ones being locked up in prison, locked away behind bars for drug-related crimes: For selling it, possessing it, using it, talking about it. The same crimes whites were committing, but for some reason whites were overwhelmingly getting away with, while everyone and their mother was cracking down on blacks.

      So it’s not about name-calling. It’s about institutional discrimination which feeds over generations in a toxic cycle, always making it a little harder to get a hand up. Always making it a little more difficult to trust the institutions of society which are supposed to be there to help.

      It’s never just about names.

      Liked by 9 people

      1. I agree wholeheartedly with everything except the part about black indentured labor. Kidnapping people from their home, Shipping them hundreds of miles in chains and then selling them like animals isn’t exactly the same as indentured servitude. Black people were never indentured servants, they were slaves in chattel slavery, chained and treated less than animals.


      2. Honestly, I was shocked the first time I read about the commensurate legal statuses of black and white colonists in the first 25-50 years of colonial American history. I thought perhaps the author I first learned it from (Jacqueline Battalora; Birth of a White Nation: The Invention of White People and Its Relevance Today) had misunderstood her research, or misrepresented something. I had to go double check her claims with other trusted historical sources.

        There was one anecdote in particular that I found so incredible, I went to her source, which provided a longer explanation of the events, along with transciptions and photographs of the original court documents. Basically, an African woman’s indentured servitude contract was illegally extended, and she successfully sued for her freedom, then later married the European lawyer who’d represented her in court.

        But, yeah. Jamestown–the first successful colony–was settled in 1607.

        The first slave ship (Desire) came to Massachusetts from Barbados in 1634, after the Massachusetts colonists unsuccessfully tried to enslave the local Native Americans.

        In 1640, a runaway servant of African descent named John Punch was sentenced to lifelong slavery in Virginia, while the two European-born companions who had fled servitude with him merely had their indentures extended.

        In 1641, the Massachusetts Bay Colony passed the Body of Liberties, which legally sanctioned the slave trade in that colony.

        And in 1653, a black ex–indentured servant by the name of Anthony Johnson successfully sued to hold John Casor for life in 1653, a civil court decision widely recognized as one of the first known legal sanctions of slavery in the colonies.

        Records of the era show black colonists lived, labored, loved, and married equally to whites within colonial communities for the first 25-50 years of colonial history. For many years, black servants were able to work free of indentured contacts, or buy them out. Slavery was not heritable, nor automatically associated with race.

        There were black people in Europe prior to slavery and the triangle trade. There have been black people and people of color throughout our rich and colorful history.

        I mean, the first narrative — the one we’ve all been taught, of Europeans coming from an all-white Europe and evilly kidnapping and enslaving Africans from the get go is awful and evil.

        But when I learned the truth, that was somehow worse. That we just erased black people from European history, and erased their freedom and contributions to colonial history–that we erased history and rewrote them as victims who never had a chance.

        Not people who had a chance that was stolen.

        Liked by 4 people

    3. It sucks for any child to experience racism, but whenever a black person expresses “hatred” for white people, it’s just white America’s hatred of black people being reflected right back at them. For that 1 experience that your 6 year old had there are at least 2,000 cases of racism towards blacks. What happened to your son is why You should be out fighting against racism towards blacks, because it causes turmoil, grief, sadness, anger & depression, and how those kids treated your son is just 1 of the many ways that Soo many black people unconsciously express their frustration with being black in America.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. At same token how did that 6 year old kid and his 11 year old brother become so racist towards whites at such young age…. (I can’t stand any of the isms…… Ie racism fascism bigots homophobic) I am a firm believer in we all have rights and it don’t matter our looks on the inside cause we all bleed red….

        But back to original point of how did this happen in order for us all to break these cycles of racism and other culture issues is to not teach our children to be the same…

        Point in turn when my son was 5 we moved to Texas his first 2 friends down here and still friends to this day…well he hung out at their place quite a bit well both my kids hung out at their place and they at mine.. Well all 4 kids were 7 and younger and my son was hearing say my ni**a this and that and what up and basically in a manner that wasn’t racist at all so he thought it was ok because he heard em all saying to each other.. So one day a new kid is at the motel we were all living at and my son not knowing it was wrong (as until this time not realizing he even had hear the word) went up to the other boy who was 9 my son 5 and he had said hey ni**a you wanna play… Boys response was to shove my son in air conditioning unit…

        Son come in crying and crying I asked what wrong and he told me his sister who was outside had seen the boy went and told his mom what my son said…. When I heard what he had said I turned and lit into my son where the hell did you learn that word and who gave you permission to use it…. He was like my friends A & E say it and so do auntie and them….

        I asked him if genes being mean when he said it he said no I just wanted to play with him… So I had to explain to a 5 year old why he couldn’t say that… It didn’t matter they all said time that when a white person says to a non white person it has a total different meaning…we went and talked to the boy and his mom and I explained to her how he had come about learning word and he was not trying to be mean or hateful…. Well while theybwere there at motel he and my son played Alot together…

        So for kids to be learning at such young ages to be racist means they are in a racist environment and that doesn’t help end the vicious circle

        Liked by 2 people

    4. Do not confuse racism with bigotry. They’re two different things. Racism is a system supported by laws, systems, institutions and means of commerce. Bigotry is just a personal aversion to someone else based on race, skin color, etc. You white folks need to look up the definition of racism. Seriously.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. “You white folks need to look up the definition of racism.” and that right there is being prejudice towards white people you dumb nigger


      2. @Nig Hey, my dude, isn’t there a unattended meth lab in that rusty trailer of yours, better get your cousin/wife and get cooking.


    5. that’s not racism. and yeah, you should explain to your kid about the long history of aggressions against black people perpetrated by whites on a systemic and individual level. teach your kid some empathy and historical analysis.
      it’s not different from conversations black parents have to have with their kids about how they might get shot for being black.
      oh right it’s a lot different. being called a honky is equally as devastating as being targeted by the police….

      Liked by 2 people

    6. Your son’s experience of racism, especially at 6yrs old, is awful – shouldn’t of happened.
      However the latter part of you’re post is really a “#alllivesmatter” arguement which completely dismisses the points the writer made. He was talking about his experience on calling out his so-called friends on their bs racist views …he is a black man, so his examples based on his own experience can only come from the perspective of a black man, not an all-people perspective. Yes all human beings matter but right now he’s talking about being a black man in America and the racist bs he is no longer remaining silent about. Also with regards to his examples he didn’t only call out his white friends,he did it and will continue to do it to ANYONE from the circle of friends etc he has. It’s hilarious that a white person can get offended when someone uses lots of examples of other white peoples racist behaviour – have you ever stopped to think that maybe the people who share their personal experiences have mainly had it or only had it from white people?

      Liked by 1 person

    7. Sorry Kim…The problem is you do not realize what it means to be racist… it means being able to oppress or displace a group of people. Black people can never be racist so please don’t confuse racism with prejudice there is a huge difference.

      Here is a link please watch it to get a better understanding.


      1. Are you kidding me.. I read through all of these comments and a lot have stood out as bigotry and racist, but you saying that black people can not be racist is just ignorant!! You my friend need to look up the definition.. here it’s been said on here a lot so instead of going to look for it.. I’ll just post it for you folks

        a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
        synonyms: racial bigot, racialist, xenophobe, chauvinist, supremacist More
        having or showing the belief that a particular race is superior to another.
        “we are investigating complaints about racist abuse at the club”

        Now what I don’t see in that definition is anything saying only a certain color of skin can be racist!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. “Black people” CAN be racist. Try visiting somalia some time. Blacks being racist towards blacks, for almost 600 years, and both refusing to call themselves black because they believe “blacks” are a lesser race of africans from the west. They are racist towards fellow somalians AND west african races!

        Everyone on this page has a limited, america-centric view of racism.



    8. You should re-read the article. He calls out black, white, and Latino friends, so I really don’t believe your anecdote has the intent of encouraging awareness. As many subconscious racists, you just HAD to make sure that white people are victims too. At close examination, your reply is out of selfishness. Yes, the child who aassaulted your son was wrong. I don’t think any sensible person would deny your right to be upset as a mother, but let’s be real, what have you done for the plethora of black children and ADULTS who face this kind of treatment EVERY SINGLE day? This is what being black in white spaces is about whether it be overt, or indirectly? People have and continue to lose their lives. Do you feel just as passionate? Clearly, if you did, you wouldn’t make this thoughtful/confessional post about you. 😒

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Alleluia !!!!! Be advised if your Father or Mother are not from Africa your not an African American you are just a Black American


    9. A six year old and eleven year old are not really racist they expressing what they have seen. Most children regardless of race get bullied for one reason or another.


    10. We just hope you realize that the incidental reverse experience is certainly unfortunate but a travesty to raise in compairison with 350 and ongoing years of institutionalized oppression, discrimination, and violence. Get a grip and get in line.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am a white former priest / labor activist, fighting racism since I worked with the farm workers movement in the 1960s, later with urban Latino immigrants and day laborers. I agree with you and empathize totally. Anyone who continues the fight against racism will get blowback, especially in these days of pro-Trum b.s. If you lose f riends, so be it. They were never good friends anyway. We shall overcome!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. We can heal when white people renounce their white privilege and stop practicing racism. Until then, no healing can or will take place, nor should it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Have to disagree with you, BlackRobbb. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance control your healing. YOU can (an must) look beyond them. There is much healing that is already taking place…this dialog is a proof of that. Read about Viktor Frankel to get a perspective…from his experience inside a German concentration camp. Mandela was another example. Neither of those men allowed others’ ignorance to define who they were or who they became. Mandela struggled for years in solitude. Suffering is certainly not pleasant, but it can be an instrument of change. Is it fair? NO. Can it be used for good? IF we allow it to. We will always have ignorance, hatred, small mindedness. Just because it is in your environment doesn’t mean it has to be part of your sustenance. Find people who make you a better version of you. If they don’t, shake the dust off your feet and move on.


      2. I think you need to look up what bigotry is. And while your at it look up double standards. The more I read your comments the more I feel compelled to believe it is you sir who is the bigot. If you want people to change their opinions of you it will be through hard work and not empty biased rhetoric


    2. Read Brené Brown’s book, “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.” Its great, but I need to take in part, then process. Then another chapter, etc.


  3. Your friend was obviously misinformed about the ZImmerman/Martin case. Not sure what it had to do with racism though, there was nothing racial in the case as far as Zimmerman and Martin. The media went to alot of trouble to make is seem that Zimmerman was a racist.


    1. You’re clearly delusional or stupid. I hope it’s the former. Zimmerman would not have followed and then killed Martin had the boy been white. Anyone with seventeen brain cells knows this. Why don’t you? It’s scary how many stupid, uneducated and ignorant people there are in America.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You cannot be certain he wouldn’t have been followed had he been white because it didn’t happen. I personally do not discriminate in bouncing punks from neighborhood. I don’t care what color they are


  4. What is this, you are associating racism with things that are not racism

    First off, everyone has “duel identities”. this isn’t exclusive to you, or black people. It’s called professional persona and casual persona, actually id argue we have far more than that.

    Your second paragraph is awful, you have friends that dislike certain things that black people are doing. So im ok with people protesting, im not OK with people breaking in windows during this protests when they get out of hand and breaking into stores and stealing money and consumer electronics. Am i racist cause i think that Black people shouldnt do that?

    Am i racist when i want black people to have less kids before 18?
    Am i racist when i want more black poeple to finish highschool and get a higher education?
    Am i racist when i want black people to take over there lives and make good decisions so that they can be happy?

    Because i have seen people with your butchered version of logic try to tell me im racist because i want these things.

    Guy defending Zimmerman, must be a racist in your mind? A quick wikipedia of this shit and you can see that the case has basically nothing to do with racism, a stupid guy made a shitty decision of taking the law into his own hands, if you listen to the phone conversation Zimmerman(https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Trayvon_Martin_Shooting_Call1.ogg) hes seriously just trying to do the right thing.

    Southern white girl defending the fact that irish people had it hard, and you say black people had it worse, while i completely aggree with you, saying that is racism is pretty far out, could just be she was misinformed, assuming racism is kinda bullshit here. Also i have never nor will never own a confederate flag, but supporting people’s rights to own them doesn’t mean they fucking hate black people, you are assuming intent all the fucking time, get off your highhorse and critically ask “does this person hate black people?”

    So a guy dissagrees with you, and he is not a racist cause his oppinion differs to much that you have seperate yourself from him? Is he also a racist now?

    So this guy agrees with Tomi Lahren(afrophobic isn’t what i would describe what the quick google search of her 3 most popular videos are on youtube) and you are saying he supports cops killing black people? Or did he say that he supports cops using deadly force if justified? Im going with the latter in all probiblity, because im pretty sure he doesnt want cops to go around just randomly murdering black people. And then when he tries to defend himself you are “better than him” and he is nothing but a bigot? You have not demonstrated a compelling argument at why this guy hates black people, or is actually racist.

    Also “He wants to shit on protests, movements, people fighting for their humanity without anyone calling him out”

    Yes people fighting for thier humanity… we litterally live in a society where even the poorest people have access to smart phones, computers, and the internet and can learn almost anything, like right now you could pull up google and in a couple months of hard work have the knowledge to be a programmer,electrician, plumber, etc etc we live In one of the most priviledge societies and times in human history. I find protesting the “oppression” any individual takes with a grain of salt in the first world.

    you are saying this dude is mega bigot despite not giving as single example of him actually hating black people. Good job bro, you are convincing me so hard that are just TRYING to be offended, and finding racism where there isn’t any.

    So the trump supporter asked what racism and you can’t even source a video of a racist thing he has done to this guy you “admired”, i honestly think you were just too lazy to google search to find a video of him actually being racist. Trust me, i had this argument with roommates several months ago, and i demanded they show me a video where he is actually racist, and they couldn’t find one, ive litterally tried to find a video where trump is racist, and the closest thing i can find is that he is anti immagration, but i don’t consider that racism.

    So you end this whole speal, after calling them all racist. It feels like you don’t know what the word racist means, lets pull up a dictionary

    Racism: racial prejudice or discrimination

    Ok so now we gotta figure out what prejudice means

    prejudice: an unfair feeling of dislike for a person or group because of race, sex, religion, etc

    So these people just hate or dislike black people? I would say no, none of the people seem to have a dislike of black people based on thier skin color, but for thier actions. You are calling these people fucking racist for DISSAGREEING WITH YOU! Get over yourself, these people are not bigots, they do not hate black people, they don’t have contempt or prejudice for you because you happen to be black, they have contempt for you cause you are calling them racist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, to answer your question. Yes. You are racist. Now that we’ve cleared that up, what are you going to do about it? You can either keep spouting eye rolling and text book ignorant statements in public that are embarrassing and quickly identify you as someone non white people and the people who love them should stay away from; OR you can take a seat and listen even though it’s uncomfortable and heartbreaking to imagine that so many people in this country on a day to day basis don’t experience the same feeling of safety and entitlement that you take for granted and you can become a better person. And yes, it does have to do with race.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. How was he racist? Explain it to me please. Perhaps I am ignorant or blind or however you want to say it. But I’m just not understanding how this is racist. I’d rather be educated than remain ignorant.


    2. Ian…you are a white person in deep denial. You shrug off descriptions of blatant racism with “it is likely something else”.

      Your own words:
      Am i racist when i want black people to have less kids before 18?
      Am i racist when i want more black people to finish high school and get a higher education?
      Am i racist when i want black people to take over there lives and make good decisions so that they can be happy?

      Yes, you are racist because you believe what you say in these statements… the lie that black people are 100% responsible for all that has happened to them. Does it ever occur to you that young girls of all colors under 18 are poor decision makers and get pregnant for all kinds of dumb reasons? The problem is that the problems created by unplanned pregnancy multiply when you are poor. White girls in the suburbs have a much easier time fininacing an abortion than their black counterparts. Does is occur to you that because the majority black schools are still underfunded that staying in school does not always reap the rewards it did at your mostly white high school? And the last one is unholy…you are implying that most black people make poor decisions!!

      You have obviously bought into the most-blacks-are-criminals-have-babies-for-welfare-are-dropouts myth.

      Let me give you some numbers to think about…lets say 5% of whites have the above problems. Then lets say there are double the number of blacks with the same problems – 10%. That still means NINETY PERCENT of black people do not have babies for welfare, are not criminals or make bad decisions.

      Did it ever occur to you that you have these views because you are WHITE?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I find it hard to garner much sympathy, these are the friends you chose. Integration tends to work like that, you can’t do it half way. This is I remain unintegrated and unassimilated in most ways.


      1. To a white supremacist such as yourself, I’m sure it seems that way.. But I like being black and being around black people so its quite rewarding.


      2. Apparently you have not read any of my replies on this page. White supremacist? I’m about as far from that as you can get. Maybe you should talk to the hundreds of black students I taught in south Dallas. I’m afraid you would loose that argument.

        I would not be the person I am today with out the friendships of the blacks I knew growing up – in grade school, in high school and in college. I am a better person because I reached out to people who were different from me and learned from them. You should try it some time.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I am not concerned about your other posts on here. Speaking to black people doesn’t mean you aren’t a white supremacist .If you believe I need to befriend whites to have a fulfilled life, you are a white supremacist. No way around it. White people aren’t Gods (despite what you think), my life isn’t going to change befriending them.
        If “reaching out to other people” ends up in discourse with a smug person like you, who makes condescending and judgmental things like “I feel sorry for you”… I’d prefer not but thanks for the advice. I’m sure you think you are doing me a favor.


      4. It is you that has been smug & judgmental towards me. Read alot into my one sentence. Did I say get to know only WHITE people? Indeed I did not. It was you that said you want to know only black people. I am thankful for all the people who have come into my life. I’ve lived in 4 different states. I have lived at a private school for boys where my father was a teacher. Lived in the city, suburbs, and now the country. Rich, poor, gays,Latinos, Asians Again, I am thankful I was born after integration and have always been to school with all kinds of people. I admit I am weird and I enjoy meeting people different from myself.

        If a white person were to advise other people to only know whites, I expect you’d be very upset. Thank you Lord that I have met only a handful of black people that are prejudiced or our problems would be much more severe. The bigger problem is now with white people who can’t even admit (or maybe even see) their own prejudice.


      5. Now you are playing victim. Anytime a black person points out a whites nonsense, they turn it around. Take responsibility for your inappropriate comments.
        I don’t need advice from white people on whom to befriend. I know you think since your white you are going to enlighten me, like you’re some sort of great white savior, but I assure I do not need any white supremacist’s advice on anything.

        Liked by 2 people

      6. Bwhahaha Afrofogey. It is you who are just plain prejudiced. Like the white people you claim are ALLl racist against you. How do you fix the problems between the races with your condescending attitude? Anyway I am pasting my discussion with you for my black friends to read, they find you amusing. God bless.


  6. Friend #1- The man engaged in a Facebook debate with one of his “friends” about defending Zimmerman. This was an individual he hadn’t talked to in 4-5 years anyways. That isn’t experiencing racism, that is typing words on a keyboard to somebody you barely know anymore.

    Friend #2- A woman stated that Irish slavery/servitude was akin to Black slavery. While the Irish were treated absolutely horribly, the circumstances were different between the two. The author ends with “I tore apart her argument and removed her from my proximity”.One would reason that this individual had these views and opinions long before this conversation ever took place. My point, these two individuals were never really friends to begin with and the author is embellishing (heavily) on the word “Friends”. Maybe he means Facebook friends?

    Friend #3- “He supports cops murdering black people”. That’s completely out of context. Did the friend say its okay for cops to go out and shoot people at a whim, or did the friend say he supports cops defending themselves. The author is presenting his friend’s point of view out of context, a very dishonest form of journalism.

    Friend #4- MY PERSONAL FAVORITE! This friend is a black-latino conservative. The author basically decides this “Friend” didn’t fit the liberal black man narrative (basically labeling him an Uncle Tom) and cast this friend to the curb when he asked “What Racism?” when it came to Donald Trump. This is the very definition of racism (something individuals such as the author are heavily guilty of). Because of the color of your skin you are expected to align yourself with a particular party of politics.

    I’m ending with, this guy decided his “friends” didn’t fit his box. Which is fine, I think people should surround themselves with individuals that feel like they better them. However! I will never respect anybody who claims to be a friend and then one day decide “I don’t like your politics” and then cast you to the side. The author was never friends with these people. Facebook friends….maybe. Friends 10 years ago…maybe. But these were not individuals he was actively socializing with regularly.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I was walking home one day and this stupid asian bitch saw me walking and decided to cross a busy street so she wouldn’t walk on the same side as me. I was shocked as this has never happened before. Yeah little 5’7″ skinny ass brown me is going to jump your stupid 5’5″ you. Idiot. I was half hoping she’d get hit by a car so the world could be cleansed of her bigoted ass. This b.s. isn’t only spread by whites, but many other races as well.


  8. Through out the history of man many peoples of different cultures, skin colors, creeds, and beliefs have been prosecuted and oppressed. It is not only African Americans. The Irish, native Americans,Jews and even now Christians are being oppressed and systematically eliminated. People can be cruel and evil. Many of these oppressed have pushed through adversity to become a thriving people.


    1. “Christians are being oppressed and systematically eliminated.”

      No they aren’t.

      “Many of these oppressed have pushed through adversity to become a thriving people.”

      Ah, the good ol’ “black people are just asking for handouts” argument. No, no they aren’t.

      Liked by 3 people

    2. You can’t oppress those in control. The only discomfort that Christians suffer in the western world is that they can’t dictate society based on their beliefs.

      You are personally welcome to follow your beliefs as long as they don’t interfere with the rights of someone else.

      You have to actually act like an equal, not like your dogma is something all of us have to follow.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. It is sad that you can be so racist and then blame everyone you lost as the ones being racist. I know it is hard to see it when the entire media and entertainment industry spoon feed you that BS your whole life.


  10. Those ‘friends’ you are loosing were never your friends. If they were they wouldn’t treat you like their little special, pet nig that’s different from other black people.

    We are at a point where those of the other persuasion have to decide that they are with us in the fight for equity and the reclamation of our humanity or they are happy with the status quo.


  11. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. If speaking truth and standing for justice means losing certain friends, it is worth it. We can’t let fear of losing friends deter us from speaking truth and standing for justice.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Interesting read….complete fluff with no substance, but still entertaining.

    An issue that I see in the ‘race discussion’ here in America, is the unwillingness of either group or side to have an honest discussion. All we want to do is defend our point of view. Here are some observations that I have collected over the years:

    -does racism and bigotry exist today? Yes, both do. The kicker is, racism is not a white only thing. This argument goes back and forth, but at its core, racism can be felt by any person, regardless of their color. Any argument to the contrary is wrong.

    -Black people do not own the legacy of slavery. This is not to say that slavery in the US didn’t happen or wasn’t a horrible time in our nation’s history, but it was not invented here, and it is not a black legacy. Virtually every society throughout history has used slaves. Slaves built the pyramids, the Great Wall of China, machu picchu, and every other structure on the planet. White people, aboriginal people, indigenous people, Asian, Middle Eastern, and black people have been slaves.

    -Black people were also part of the slave trade in Africa. This is not to say they played the largest role or to compare their actions to those of the Dutch, Spanish, and Portuguese, but black people were a part of it. This part of history is often ignored by the black community. I get it, no one would want to look at their family tree and find out their great great grandfather was a slave trader in the Congo, so this part of history is simply ignored.

    -The premise above echoes similar story lines, all surrounding the notion that white people are inherently racist, based on the simple fact that they are white. This is false, and it causes an immediate block to meaningful discussion. Was there slavery in America? Yes. Have there been systemic rules and biases in America to favor white people in the past? Yes. Should a white person today not live their life and work to provide for their family because of the past? No. Is the system still pitted against the black person? No. It takes hard work and determination to succeed regardless of skin color.

    -I am reminded of Trump’s slogan, ‘Make America Great Again’, and how many interpretations of it we have. One interpretation I have not heard from the black community is to make their community great again. Look back to the ‘Black Renaissance’ and cities like Harlem, Baltimore, Richmond VA, that had thriving black communities, black owned businesses, black owned banks, lending money to other black people. Where did that go? People like Maggie Walker in Richmond; who is carrying on her legacy? The black community today is so caught up in complaining about the past that they are doing nothing for their future.

    -The black community has this issue with remaining black, and remaining true to themselves, and that is both valiant, and ignorant, because it limits growth. Comedians talk about black people, musicians talk about black people, actors play ‘black roles’, etc. This happens in the Hispanic community as well, but that is for another time. Stretch your horizons, read literature that isn’t typically read in a black home, go try something new. And the whole thing about being successful and selling out? That is absurd! Why is it somehow selling out to make enough money to move your family to the suburbs and put them in a good school?

    -do white people have problems? Yes. White people are a mess, and it drives me crazy. I don’t feel the need to apologize for the past, because I didn’t commit those atrocities, and neither did my ancestors. Why do white people feel this so-called guilt, and feel this inherent need to apologize? Apologies made, let’s move on and learn from the past. White people need to stop worrying about guilt and take care of themselves. Drug use is up, infidelity is up, divorce is up, obesity is up. Get it together. Quit consuming craft beer and superhero stuff, and educate yourselves. The point I made earlier about education can be applied to white people as well. Asian families don’t have the issues that white people have, and they are pushing education above everything for their kids. Sure, play a sport, learn to play an instrument, all important for our growth, but this is getting ridiculous. We are consumed with video games, wine and painting parties, and pop culture!

    I would love to hear your thoughts.


    1. You have absolutely nailed it. “All we want to do is defend our point of view”…I think the black community is largely blind to the real problem that plagues it. In reality, racism does not stop ones progress…And you cannot force people to like you. There is too much time being spent forcing a notion of acceptance in my opinion.


      1. You will NEVER get others to listen if you are labeling them racists. The black community needs a change of heart & a change of behavior if they want real progress. Gain a mutual respect, & you will gain progress…


  13. You can friend me… I will always fight by your side and will stand up for what is right, even if it means losing friends on the way…


  14. Curious — do you think you’re fighting racism or contributing to the racial divide? It is not likely that you’d lose friends if you’re being respectful of them and not throwing things in their face that might be out of their focus. It is ok for you to be on a bandwagon, but it is not alright to involuntarily drag others onto it with you. So, if that’s why you’re losing friends and you’re ok with it, then at least you know where the problem lies.


  15. I just started a blog after seeing the disgust over social media after the election. I wanted to speak but I am a teacher and friend and was concerned over expressing my thoughts. So I created “Take the Floor” where people like me could ask questions about politics, racism, education etc and receive true, honest opinions with anonymity. As a new blogger I would love some views, comments, open questions for others on the topic. I would love that! I enjoyed reading your post.


  16. I wish you better friends, ones who deserve you in their lives. I hope you have friends enter your life that listen when they screw up (and they will, we all do) and care about making it right and doing better next time. I wish you people who give you the support and love that you need, and don’t make excuses or minimise your pain.

    I care about you and what happens to you and I don’t even know you.


  17. Johnny, I don’t want to Spam your blog, but this is important…

    My name is C. Erskine Brown, and I would like to share the most horrifying story you will ever read about modern day racism.

    Consistently garnering five stars, A Cry Among Men – The Novel, is being touted as one of the “Best reads of 2016,”… “brilliantly written fiction adroitly framed around the events of today.” 

    Since its debut, A Cry Among Men has captivated and deeply impacted readers. As a passionate, deep thinker on the subject of racism, I strongly encourage you to read it. Our country must raise the level of discourse on a problem that so many are wide-eyed and vocal about while others have chosen to turn a blind eye.

    Thank you,



    1. “Viking Strong man”…lol…can NOT write that without cracking up…the irony is guaranteed lol.
      (Maybe take some regarding your woeful spelling);
      It seems you doth project too much.That’s what racist bottom-feeders like yourself do, you see?
      Project. Deflect. Deny. Derail. Repeat. Ad nauseam.
      And you thought you were so unique.

      Liked by 3 people

  18. Dear Johnny,
    You really need to purge the comment feed of the many trolls that poison it. And check where the hell they come from. I wanted to read other stories of experimenting the loss of friends in the journey of self-healing ; instead of that, I lost a little more faith in humanity. Purge the comments. Safe spaces are more important than pseudo freedom of speech (freedom of hatred, more like)
    And to the trolls: Someday you will die alone. And I think, deep down, that you know it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marcus, I agree the racist trolling is hard to read. But I’m guessing Johnny leaves it up because it documents the persistence, virulence and several familiar forms of racism, and the very same people who are trolling would be the first to deny that there is a problem, if their own comments weren’t making it so obvious that there is.

      Liked by 3 people

  19. I appreciate the candor of this article. We will never have racial healing in this country, within or between races, unless we can have honest conversations, but it takes a lot of courage, and I thank you for sharing what you really think. It is time for a deeper level of racial dialogue in this country, and that means externalizing the conflicts to where they really are.

    I’m European-American (aka “white”), but I recognize only too well the soul-killing conflict of having a public persona at work or in other contexts that is different from who I know myself to be. There are a lot of class stereotypes and stigmas – about race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and on and on – that can create this, and it is the middle class bargain with the devil to accept self-censorship as the necessary price for that status. But buying into that is, on some level, agreeing that your real self is somehow not as acceptable as other people’s real selves. There’s a name for people who identify more with the group they want to be accepted into than the group they are from – tokens. This compromise not only kills the soul, it is a bargain with no security, as extended privilege can be revoked at any time. Any relations based on that are not only dishonest, they are inherently unequal.

    The cost of rejecting the bargain can be high, especially economically, and that’s wrong. No one should have to choose between survival of the body and survival of the identity. But there can also be some surprises. I was so self-protective that I didn’t give anyone a chance to accept the real me. And some of the people who stepped up to be supportive when I finally stopped hiding were people I would never, ever have expected that from. I hope it turns out to be the same way for you.

    As someone who has benefited from racism all my life, whether I like it or not, I feel a responsibility to try really hard to change the minds of acquaintances who turn out to be racists before I walk away. I distinguish between being non-racist and being anti-racist. I’m not sure it’s possible for anyone (of any color) in America to be non-racist at this point in history – the stereotypes are too pervasive and deep.

    But we can be actively anti-racist. I’m talking about constantly questioning my reactions, and asking myself whether I’d be reacting the same way if this person was white. And since I’m a woman, I also ask myself whether the thing I just said about people of color would sound sexist to me if a man said it about women. It’s a struggle, and it can be very uncomfortable. I don’t want to believe I’m a bad person – who does?

    Maybe that’s why some people, who seem otherwise to be rational and caring, simply refuse to see their racism as anything but an accurate perception of the world, and are not open to considering any other possibility. In the end, all I can do is boycott those people, as you have.

    I do think the history of the Irish has a place in this conversation. Though they never were slaves, most people in contemporary America are unaware of the degree of hatred they experienced, both in the UK and here. The contemptuous racial stereotyping and lack of value of Irish lives was very comparable to the current status of people of color in the U.S. (or even the status of African-Americans in the south in the early 20th century).

    And it was for the same reasons – the English stole everything from the Irish and treated them like dirt, and they had to demonize the Irish justify it. You might be surprised by the similarities between the negative stereotypes of Irish and African-Americans – lazy, stupid, promiscuous, dishonest – same old, same old. I guess bigotry isn’t very original.

    You can still hear it from Brits sometimes, off-handed insulting comments about Irish. I’m of Irish descent, and the first time I experienced that I was shocked and outraged. My next thought was, this is how African-Americans feel. It isn’t really the same, I know. I have never had to feel afraid because of my ethnicity, or been brought to doubt my worth. These days anti-Irishness is just seen as some individual aberration, obviously unfounded.

    Which is why I bring it up, because it is so entirely over now. I was an adult before I even knew people of my ethnicity had ever been stigmatized, and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have experienced hostility or discrimination because of it. Change is possible. Real, healing change, not just smoothing the surfaces over a festering wound. Maybe we have to open that wound again to clear out all the infection, but in the end, I still believe, we can become a clean, whole people.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I really felt your entire article. Been there, done that. I loved the language you used about stop-and-frisking racism wherever you see it. My daughter has a sixth sense about when it’s about to happen. I’m laughing because she knows it’s about to go down before I do. I’ll still be listening trying to be sure that person said what I think they just said & she’ll get that look in her eye, like, “Mom, come on, we don’t have time for this today.”

    Liked by 1 person

  21. When they say, “Why don’t you just leave America?”, they are omitting the preamble to the statement. They are really saying, “You aren’t a ‘Real American’, so why don’t you leave?” What hateful bullshit.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Here’s an illuminating article on the serial vilification of various immigrant groups across the history of the U.S., with hair-raisingly offensive political cartoons (http://thereformedbroker.com/2017/01/29/to-my-jewish-irish-asian-and-italian-friends).

    Bad as this is, it is not the same as slavery.

    However, the difference is one of degree, not kind. Human beings have a bad habit of treating each other like crap. The history of human genocides is long, wide and deep. There have been a lot of them, on every continent, across many cultures and religions (including non-violent ones – Cambodia is overwhelmingly Buddhist)), including but not limited to many in recent memory.

    Homicidal (or even ‘merely’ tyrannical) hierarchism, whatever its form, can crop up its ugly head in any population. It is not something that only happens to other people. Which is why we must be eternally on guard against its seeds, outing them wherever we see them, and not getting suckered into ANY justifications for treating one group of people with less respect than another.


  23. Had to come read this article after reading “Radicalization”.

    I think back…I was teaching in south Dallas at Lincoln HS during the Rodney King trial riots. While my white friends were quaking in their shoes in their safe lily-white neighborhoods…I continued to teach at my all black high school. And nothing happened. I really was never too worried to tell you the truth. And actually no one in the school or neighborhood seemed to think I was in any danger.

    Yet my white friends continued to cling to their belief that the neighborhood I taught in was so “bad”. Although I was the one who went down their every day for 5 years…they knew more than I did from watching the news.

    I have a political discussion group on FB called “Where’s the Middle?” Please join us. Many of my former black students are in it, but like so many black people are not comfortable speaking up, although I think its time they did.

    After my teaching experience in South Dallas…I realize how patient and kind most black people are. If black people ever were to seek much deserved vengeance, the white community would be in big trouble.


  24. Interesting Johnny Silvercloud, that you are going to “like” a comment directed against me by a black person who is just plain hateful to me because of the color of MY skin. I have worked all my life for improvement between white & black folk…but it would seem you will spit in the face of your allies as well as your enemies. Not really smart.


  25. I am so glad to have found your page through a FB group I am a part of (though I am largely silent… my fragility fears being “dragged”). Perceptive and persuasive writing.

    I have lost track of all the comments I have read following your articles, and I just read that you rarely comment in order to allow free discussion. I can’t read many of the comments (probably mine, later) and not immediately think, “Casually Racist White Bingo!” I cringe when I read a comment that you are not helping your cause by being hostile.

    Especially abhorrent are the comments suggesting that if a POC were to just make up his or her mind to make a better life for him/herself, they could accomplish so much, even if he or she has to work harder. That is a blatant falsehood. Every system is designed to elevate whiteness, including our “democracy”, at the expense of POC. I recently read “Race, Prison, and Poverty” by Paul Street (not sure whether or not to post the link). Whether you are a “good” or “bad” black person (terms used lazily), white systems are designed to profit off of black bodies. Period.

    I am saddened that you are no longer an “ally handler”, but please know that even though your words may not have been intended for me, they resonate deeply.

    Liked by 1 person

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