I remember growing up as a multicultural child and being absolutely ecstatic about seeing mixed raced families. Hell, I remember being a young adult and feeling my heart smile when I seen mixed raced couples with children. Today, I feel everything but that. To be honest, I feel sorry for the children more often than hopeful. As offensive as this may be to white people with non-white children, I think I have plenty of experience to speak on this subject, without coming from a place of ignorance. A place of ignorance similar to that of a person who thinks racism dissipates from their lifestyle simply by bedding or birthing people of color. I suppose it is only fair to go into detail with my reasoning behind feeling that it is more often a burden than a blessing for a black or brown child, being birthed by a non-white parent and a parent of color, so I’ll waste no time.
Parents engaging in erasure
“My child is mixed, not Black or White.”
The audacity to believe that you get to change your child’s race based on the mixture that most American’s have, because you’re not a person of color. Yes, this is an issue because, believe it or not, your child is going to be seen as the dominant genome, which damn sure isn’t going to be European. When people speak to ‘mixed’ people, they don’t ask if they are mixed and proceed to ask, “with white and what else?” People will ask if they are Asian, African, Black, Latino, etc., and something else, because that is what society sees when they look at ‘light skinned’ people of color. When Vanessa Williams was the first person who looked like her to become Miss America. When Barack Obama became the first person who looked like him to become President. When W.E.B. DuBois became the first person who looks like him to became the first person looking like him to earn a Doctor of Philosophy from Harvard, what were they labeled as? With Vanessa’s blue eyes, DuBois’ straight and fine hair, and Obama’s face, so similar to his white grandfather? Yes, you got it — they were the first Blacks to do what they did.
Not only that, they were every N-word in the book, met with more hatred than most before them. Williams lost the title, Obama was labeled worse than his accomplishments could fathom, and Harvard stopped allowing people of color in their school for decades after him. Not because they had a white parent, but, because they were black. Raising the children to believe they are not black, because you are not black, while society sees nothing but, is not only a disservice to them, but extremely dangerous for them, with black folks and nonwhites. It’s very ignorant and selfish on your part, especially as a parent.
Operation Ebony Shield
“I can’t be racist, I have a Black child!”
Using your children as a token or leverage, anytime you feel uncomfortable, holier than thou, or cornered into race debates. More of a reason you shouldn’t have the blessing of a Black or Brown child, because you’re more a burden than you know. If you still believe that a child of color, spouse/lover of color is enough for you to not be racist, you most likely do not believe in researching the troubles that people of color are faced with today. Not only that, you probably tell people on a regular basis that, “All Lives Matter”, or, “my child won’t sag, be disrespectful, or ghetto when they grow up.” You most likely believe that the simple task of not dropping the N-bomb is enough to not be a racist as well. This is just as ignorant as believing that a Black/Brown acquaintance or ‘friend’ is proof that you’re not a bigot. I’m sure Dylan Roof would agree, but I don’t. As lazy as American’s have become over the years, always trying to do less for more, non-white sex and procreation seems to be the easy way out of political discussions about systemic racism, as if having a mother or a lover who is a woman is enough to not be a sexist.
Colorblindness Enable Racism in America
“I don’t see color, I see people!”
The most disrespectful thing to say to people of color seems to be the most self-fulfilling thing for a White person to say to nonwhite people!
More proof of the complete opposite lifestyles and circumstances we have. Telling people that you do not see color is like telling them you do not see their struggle, meaning, you damn sure don’t have what it takes to raise a child who will have struggles that you never will face, outside of being seen as an N-word lover, in the presence of that lil N-word. And yes, you’re going to have to get used to that child being called derogatory names, as terms of endearment and hate, because you brought that on yourself, as did your people on their people. Don’t like it? You should of probably thought about that before pretending you not mentioning color would change society’s view of that race or ethnicity. Your White privilege has you believing that you not calling out the color of others will stop other Whites from doing so. Sorry Snow White, that ain’t happening.
The Fostering of Self-Hate
“White Men/Women respect me more than Black/Brown!”
This!!!! The biggest issue that leads to interracial relationships and relations is self hatred. People can deny it all day, ‘errr’ day, but it will not change the fact that, the majority of people of color who are dating or having babies outside of their race/ethnic background are people who have self-esteem issues with their dominant features, self-hatred in their own race, based on the treatment they feel they’ve received by their own people for acting, dressing, being different than the “rest of them”, or, simply a fetishist of others, based on the lack of those people/features in their own family or inner circles. This is a mental issue that must be addressed or fixed before having children with different features, or, it will manifest itself in those children, as a result of the parental ignoring their own issues that they hand off onto the child bared.
I am not a person who uses absolutes, so I will not say that White people should never have non-White children, nor will I say that they are all incapable of raising damn fine men and women of color, but, I will say it’s slim to friggin’ none. Not because of the lack of ability or finances or stability, but, from the inability to research and understand the differences in treatment and judgment towards those non-White citizens and checking the White privilege and ego at the door. Brushing race under the rug in America is everything but logical and respectful, believe it or not. Meaning well is well-wishing, doing well is progression. Colorblindness is the other side of the racist field, where color defines your thoughts, because it’s what scares you from the importance of looking its issues in the eye and fighting it head on. Not only will the children face society’s ugliness, you will too. This will be a reason to see your beautiful blessing as a burden, and them you.