People of Color are in an Abusive Relationship (with White America)

Ever been in, or seen a relationship where one person continues to do one wrong and the one done wrong is expected to do everything right?  Have you ever witnessed a person in a relationship call the other one out on something wrong, like violence, and is coerced into silence or otherwise punished for it in some form?

Replace the white woman with a person of color and you have precisely what goes on in America concerning race relations.

The reason why I mention these things, is because a most people don’t think of the grand scheme of sociology in America.  People are more than ready to identify wrong when the individual does wrong to another individual, but fail horribly to identify when one collective of people does wrong to another collective group.

We as Americans wish to be against bullying for example, but fail to identify the continued propaganda strategy against people of color in the media, such as always noting that a non-white child “was no angel” when authority figures rob them of their basic human rights and dignity.  Quite often a black victim is more demonized in the media than white perpetrators of crime.  With numerous young white males bypassing the criminal justice system concerning rape, all the evidence is written on the tin can.

White People hate Black Protest

One of the things I noticed how white people hate black folks protesting against any form of the system of white supremacy.  I mentioned this when I collected my thoughts on tone policing.  I also pointed out how white supremacy ensures that black people don’t have freedom of emotion in America.  Black people are not allowed to even feel anyway about how racism in America oppresses, suppresses, and in some case persecutes people of color.

This brings us to the case of Colin Kaepernick.

White Comfort > Black Lives

Colin Kaepernick is a football player who decided to not stand for the American national anthem this year (2016).  Kaepernick’s logic behind his actions (or inactions) is the fact that since America does not stand up for minorities in the face of 1st world nation oppression, he will opt out of standing for the national anthem.  Colin Kaepernick’s logic, is pretty fucking sound.

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” ~Colin Kaepernick on why he refuses to stand.

Of course, the backlash (perhaps the lash of a sociological whip from whites assuming to be at a slave master role?) was infinitely predictable.  Whiteness came out of the woodworks to anathematize this man for his harmless protest.

Interestingly, it seems like there’s no such thing as a protest that whites will support as okay or valid.  White people love to talk about Black Live Matter protests across the country.  White people love to hate on the notion of blocking freeways and main roads, as if such an inconvenience equals the oppression the protesters seek to destroy.  White people love to tone police black protest, especially if anything remotely sound violent.  The fact that whites are actively anathematizing Kaepernick concerning his very much peaceful protest is fascinating.  It lets you know a hard truth of white America: it’s not the way you protest as people of color. It’s the fact that you are protesting at all. 

White folks are that abusive power-hungry male

Make this white chick black and this will all make sense.

If you look at the collective group identities as individuals, you can clearly assess the problem at hand — it’s bullying and a system of psychological and physical violence and abuse.  White people as a collective continues to bully, harass, and silence black people as a collective.  Anything stating otherwise is denial of the fact.  Black people are the abused, and white people are the abuser.  If you look at relationship psychology surrounding abuse the abuser always has mechanisms to silence and suppress the abused victim, and white society is no different.  The abuser is in a state of dominance and will protect that position (analog: white privilege) by all means.

“This is not something that I am going to run by anybody… I am not looking for approval.  I have to stand up for people that are oppressed… If they take football away, my endorsements from me, I know that I stood up for what is right.” ~ Colin Kaepernick

When it comes to relationships, you most certainly have those who are the abused who seek to pretend the abuse isn’t there, and make their life all about appeasing the abuser at all times.  This is called a “codependency disorder”.  Codependency takes place when a person has an exaggerated dependence on other to the point that one doesn’t care for their own well-being.  This is known in relationship psychology, but is this known concerning race relations?  Codependency would look like how a black person would seek to silence and neutralize any protest concerning race relations in order to appease white people’s feelings. White feelings trumps black lives to a codependent black person, and they will always prioritize white feelings regardless of the abuse they have witnesses or suffered.  NFL Quarterback Cam Newton with his new take on racism is a great example of this.  Most people would call this a form of Stockholm Syndrome.  Others would call it something that rhymes with “tuning”, but I digress.

White People’s Outrage is Getting More Stupid

Colin Kaepernick has the right to sit or stand as he choose.  Numerous ignorant whites (or those who implicitly support white supremacy) have tried the argument that Kaepernick isn’t doing his job.  That logic is flawed, because football players don’t train to stand for national anthems. As a matter of fact, athletes are not even judged on speed, stance and form in concerning standing for national anthems.  Afterall Colin is right, and when standing up for flags are more important than standing up for people, maybe we need to reevaluate your affinity for fascism.  White America’s outrage to protest is no different than an abusive man in a relationship.

Colin Kaepernick is even more right than he realizes: The national anthem is actually longer than what it’s commonly known as, and has a part that explicitly glorifies the killing of runaway slaves:

No refuge could save the hireling and slave / From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave // And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave / O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave. ~ The Star Spangled Banner, end of the third verse

Nothing could save the hireling and slave?  The national anthem said NO REFUGE could save the poor and the slave, technically.  As if, there’s no place safe for the slave descendent.  That’s Afro-Americans, people.  Considering that the national anthem has four verses instead of one, maybe it would pay to actually know what we are standing up for, and continue to question why doesn’t America stand up for us.

Written by Johnny Silvercloud

The Soul Brother #1 of a Kind. Consequentialist street photographer abolitionist writer/speaker who stands for any oppressed peoples. I do it because every man and woman deserves freedom of thought -- especially black folks.


  1. I think you got the wrong analogy. Human beings are in an abusive relationship with the 1%. And they are brilliant at their manipulation of us. For instance, they pit us against one another racially. The way they see it if they can keep us pointing the finger at each other, they can continue to giggle all the way to the banks they fuckin own! This article shows you playing right into their grubby little mits. It ain’t the white man. It’s the people puppeting us into believing we are separate. For if we ever come together, they will be decimated and the world will live in peace. Ain’t much money in peace. Don’t hate the puppets. Hate the puppet master. Go ahead, cut your strings, love everyone as hard as you can. Even the 1%. Love is powerful. Hate is easy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gil, I’m a white man, so I’ll speak from my experience as such and say that Johnny Silvercloud is not wrong and his assessment of the race relationship and my (white) people’s general feelings and behaviors are the (and I say this as a Christian pastor) the fuck on the nose. Johnny isn’t hating anyone, he’s pointing out the characteristic of the white/black relationship in this nation. It is abusive. Throughout its history it has followed the classic cycle of abuse model again and again and again. Now I know that you see the role of wealth inequality at play in the system of white racism in our country and in the world. You are right that there economic motivators that perpetuate the exploitation and dehumanization of black folks. You are right that the systems of economic inequality also disenfranchise, exploit, and dehumanize white folks. The fact that there are economic facets to this problem of systemic abuse, or the fact that there are gender facets to this systemic abuse, or the fact that there are religious facets to this systemic abuse does not change the fact that this systemic abuse is also starkly and obvious racial and that people with my color don’t face the same disadvantages, risks, threats, and destruction that people of Johnny’s color do when we rise up in protest. There may be a deliberately manipulative super-rich class, although the malicious portrayal you paint seems like a cartoon caricature rather than any real description of the feelings or motivations of such people. However, the social system of white racism doesn’t require a puppetmaster. All it requires is the complicit of a large section of the population who believe that it either doesn’t exist or is a benevolent system. White people, believing that our system is not racist and that we don’t have a problem, is the main thing necessary to keep this massive machine of abuse that we built in the last few hundred years running for a long time. To that end, white people are continually encouraged by our own human desire to defend our intentions (classic abuser behavior) to blame the victims of racial abuse for their suffering… or to find a scapegoat that will absolve us of responsibility, whether we blame only a subset of white folks (those racist rednecks) that doesn’t include the rest of us (innocent) white folks or whether we blame a nebulous and nefarious rich caste that recasts ourselves as co-victims with the black folks whose lives we are destroying.

      Liked by 3 people

    2. That is a great article and as good as the point that you’re made about the 1%, you need to look deeper at the article. An abuser is not going to change until they realized that they are and the abused do something about being abused. Power don’t give way to love by itself. Lovery have to be accompanied by pressure of some form.


    3. I agree with both Gil Stump and Israel Jurich. Put the 2 truths together and maybe we’ll have a greater picture of what the whole truth is, because both things are happening and more…just sayin…Peace and Love 💙

      Liked by 1 person

    4. Before we can get to the 1% we gotta recondition the ordinary pedestrian white folks who carry the traits and racist tendencies of the 1%. Show me were equal with more than your mealy mouth and then we can go after the ruling class. If we dont solve that problem 1st , whats to stop the rise of a neo oppressor


  2. Reblogged this on Social Ponderings and commented:
    An interesting viewpoint that makes think. It is nothing new but the way the author breaks it down is interesting indeed. As we all know, the intended party will never recognize it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great analogy brother. Many people are more comfortable with denial. And that where they’ll continue to stand. Or sit. Pun intended

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great article, yet you should never use swear words to be deemed as a professional writer. I did repost the article yet I did not like the fact that you used an explicit term within your article. Personally, I and most of my associates refrain from such language. Overall, your article stated very valid facts on the sociological relations with some or most race relations within America.


  5. Black people are in an abusive relationship with themselves. When you have a 73% illegitimacy/ fatherlessness rate that leads to work and school failure, teen pregnancy and criminal behavior (, when you CHOOSE to listen to music that extolls the values of ho’in and packin’ and robbin, and sligin’, when you choose to blame others for your own failures even after a man of color is in the WHITE HOUSE and still complain you can’t get anywhere after decades of race quotas and affirmative action, that is all on the black community. The sooner this regressed mentality is put to rest the better off ALL Americans will be. Grow up.


    1. Perfect example of the abuse we have to deal with daily – they seek us out to abuse us, even on our own forums. Gas lighting, deflection, manipulation and twisting words. There is no place where they don’t lurk like ugly, jealous, drunken, demons.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Deflection? lol No more like exact facts. You’re no more a subject to racism than your slave/victim mindset suggests. If you want to fix the problems in your/our communities, look in the mirror. Instead of generalizing white people as a whole, because last i checked, my own people were worse racists than ANY white people i have ever met.


    2. Did we “educate” the Nazis?
      Did we “educate” al Qaeeda?
      Did we “educate” the Barbary pirates?

      Of course not.


      1. So all white people are uneducable? My heart aches, reading this–a white descendent of southerners. And my daughter and I talked about Colin K. and the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t nature” of protest. I say, part of what I love about America is that we CAN choose to sit. But It is hard to be categorized. We aren’t all the same. Some of us are racists. And we all, red, yellow, black and white, have biases and prejudices. It is part of the human condition. But I’m doing what I can speak and do what is right, and I don’t want to be afraid to even talk about it. If we can’t talk about it, we’ll never fix things.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true. it was a depiction of the event, not a slander against blacks. There’s wisdom there if people wanted to find it, but it’s easier to believe hatred because it requires 0 effort.


  6. OK. Here are my thoughts, something I was just thinking about. That “Not all white people” thing. It’s like when you’re being abused….by a mean husband or maybe one vicious parent….and the family of the husband knows, or the other parent knows….they KNOW that the abuser is a monster. Yet they do nothing to stop the abuser, in fact they enable the abuser, make excuses for them, try not to get the abuser angry, and do everything in their power to not rock the boat and to ensure that the abuser keeps getting to abuse. And those enablers ALWAYS find ways to blame the victim. “If you hadn’t done this thing, he wouldn’t have gotten so angry”, “You forget to do this other (totally unreasonable, inhumane demand), you KNOW he gets angry if you don’t do that! , etc etc. And then—> they take ZERO responsibility for what the abuser did to the victim. If you’re lucky enough to escape, they’ll claim that they were rooting for you all along. When white people who think of themselves as allies say, “Not all white people”, what they MEAN is, “I’m not that abuser”, but the part that they really refuse to face is that they are in fact the enablers, helping the abusers and giving them power, and in many cases, piling on with abuse of their own.


  7. The other thing abusers do, is to make it damned neared impossible for you to accomplish things; they’ll sabotage, make crazy rules that you have to do insane end runs around, put obstacles in your path, make it as difficult as they can, like…ten times as hard as it should be……and then if you can’t do the thing, they’ll be all like “You didn’t try hard enough”, “I guess you don’t have what it takes”, “If you really wanted it, you would have done it already”, “You’re too dumb/weak/etc to do that”, “Don’t blame me, you’re your own worst enemy!”, etc. It is INFURIATING. And the worst thing of all…after a while they get inside your head and you start believing these things, and thinking that it’s all true, because their toxic voice becomes internalized.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. 1) Kaepernick ranks second in Lowest Pass Interception % in NFL History at 1.8%. Aaron Rodgers ranks first with a percentage of 1.5%.

    2) Kaepernick ranks #17 all-time in Career Passer Rating at 88.9 just ahead of (18) Carson Palmer, (19) Derek Carr, (20) Daunte Culpepper, (21) Jeff Garcia, (22) Andrew Luck and (23) Matthew Stafford.

    3) Kaepernick has the 5th highest Touchdown to Interception ratio in NFL history at 2.40 to 1, which is just ahead of (6) Steve Young, (7) Peyton Manning, (8) Tony Romo, (9) Drew Brees and (10) Matt Ryan.

    4) Kaepernick’s 2016 Touchdown to Interception ratio was 4 to 1. He threw 16 touchdowns and 4 interceptions while starting 11 games. Alex Smith, the quarterback Kaepernick is most compared to, for obvious reasons, threw fewer touchdowns and more interceptions than Kaepernick (15 touchdowns and 8 interceptions) while starting all 16 games. This was accomplished while throwing to the worst receiving corps in the NFL according to Pro Football Focus.

    5) Kaepernick has a career completion % of 59.8. That percentage is low, but coincidentally, it is the exact same completion percentage posted by Cam Newton in his MVP season of 2015. This would suggest that even though you would obviously want this number to increase, it does not preclude a quarterback from having a successful season with a good team around him, as evidenced by Newton’s MVP, 15-1 regular season and conference championship in 2015.

    They don’t want him in the league…he took a knee pissed off old white men and was labeled unpatriotic by idiots. With his numbers how can he not even get a camp invite? Sucks for him but like he said before the year he doesn’t do things for job security. He knew it could cost him employment and didn’t care. Call it what you want but 16-4 TD to INT ratio better YPA than Cam Newton, 59% completion percentage..7% higher completion percentage than Cam Newton, 90% QBR, 2300 yards passing 450 rushing on a team that had WRs that sucked…our number 1 WR was cut right before the beginning of the season by the Lions because he couldn’t make their Top 5 WRs in preseason….considering that San Francisco receivers dropped 6.3 percent of all targets thrown their way in 2016 ..the highest rate in the league, his completion percentage should have been higher by 2-3% points if they were middle of the road with drops and not the NFL leaders. Elite quarterbacks tend to complete something in the mid-to-high 60s, so it’s not like Kaepernick is being shunned despite being good. The league median completion percentage since 2010 is 63 percent. Is he great? no but he is easily starting material in the NFL. You can’t tell me he isn’t better than the QBs for the New York, Cleveland, Buffalo, AZ. I hope Cam Newton gets better he did have a down year but a 52% comp percentage is Tim Tebow life..If your offended by a man exercising his right to protest during paid fake patriotism that the DOD pays 5 million a year for you might be a snowflake.

    Liked by 1 person

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